I was unofficially reprimanded today.
I have a student who has had a rough year. I have come to know her well from several years of being in class, as well as during extracurriculars. She stopped by me in the hall and we had a little chat before lunch. As she walked away, she simply said, "love you, Mrs. Schroeder" to which I responded "love you, too, hon." The power-that-be who was standing nearby swung around and proceeded to tell me that we are never to say something like that to a student.
Probably the biggest issue I have is that I have seen this same person not bat an eye at the disrespectful, hateful comments made toward or about other students. Some of those comments have been by students while others have been by staff members. They never get in trouble.
Why is he so opposed to expressing caring toward a student, but not the other way around?
The problem seems to be the difference between love and sex. I do not for a second believe my kids are confused on this issue. They see me more of a mother figure (their words, although it does kind of make me feel old) that is a stable force in their life and they know they can come to me if they need anything.
This summer I read Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles. (All of them!) What kept coming back to me was that, oddly, the creatures in the books have no problem telling others how much they love each other. There are no sexual overtones (unless I totally missed that part) to the love, it is simply an expression of caring for another individual.
Why can't we all be like that?
Am I wrong on this?
Our society does equate 'love' and 'sex', even though they are not the same thing. Those of us who understand that are misunderstood by those who have conflated the two into one. Our students, who are mere children, after all, need to be loved and told that they are loved.
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad about them seeing you in the maternal sense! Yes, it makes one feel a bit old, but honestly, in their eyes, anyone over 25 is likely 'old'. It might be that they need a motherly person to step in and offer the mothering that provides security to step out and take risk (and learning new things is very risky).
I'd say its worth the reprimand! You did a good thing that will, hopefully, stick with this student for a good long while. Who cares what Mr. Administrator thinks when he thinks wrongly; you've got to buck the system to do right sometimes.
Can you tell I care about this, a lot?
Thanks Rachael!
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