Back to School Blues...I Mean, Buzz...

I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not ready.

I'm not getting that feeling that I am supposed to be getting at this time of year. I'm trying, but if I am completely honest, I am dreading the day after tomorrow when kids come back.

Maybe it's because I don't feel like I had much of a break this summer. Between shuttling kids around, teaching a class and the five workshops I attended, I just do not feel refreshed in any way.

Maybe it's because an old storage room was cleaned out and every one of my lab tables is covered with stuff someone thought I might want.

Maybe it's because I have sat through three full days of meetings. Forget for just a minute that those meetings are brutal based solely on the fact that we have to sit and listen to someone talk for seven hours a day. The bigger issue is the content that may or may not have been heard over the snoring in the back. New ELA standards. New math standards. New science standards. New social studies standards (hey, one doesn't affect me directly!). New evaluation system. Crisis training. Blood Borne Pathogen Training. MTSS training. ESI training. I am pretty sure there was more "training" in there somewhere, but for the life of me I can't remember what it is.

I am trying, but I can't seem to get excited about the upcoming school year.

Just Post Something Already

I have so many things running through my mind right now that I simply have no idea where to start. So I am making a list of all the things I really need to get out there and come back.

1. My grading. While I am absolutely loving the way my grading is set up, my kids are absolutely hating it. My grades are low (not that I care). A lot of kids really don't believe that I will not fudge a little and bring them up. The good news about this is that, in general, parents are very supportive once the whole idea is explained. This shift from percentages to not is a lot bigger than I would have expected, and PowerSchool doesn't help matters in that I can't get it to not report each target as a percent. Since there are only two points, it is either an A or F that shows up. This is, of course, what everyone zooms in on.

2. Chemistry Capstones. We are getting there. I came in with a pretty vague idea of what I wanted kids to do, and so as a result, I am getting some pretty vague attempts. I can't really be upset about this, but I really want this to go better. I am debating about the three. Maybe make it one, but make it more involved?

3. My third hour. My goodness, you would think they had never seen a variable before. I have spent the last three days reviewing how to "solve for x" and they still don't seem to have any recognition of algebra. Normally, I would think they are just messing around, but they seem to be legitimately lost.

4. QuarkNet. I am a bit nervous about this for a couple reasons. First and foremost, particle physics seems to overload my brain. And then there is the time it will take to do the activities. I am worried.

5. Online Physics. I have been hired by a nearby community college to develop an online physics class with a lab component. Why I thought I could do this is a little beyond me at this point. It has been ages since I have taught physics, so I am doing quite a bit of brushing up as I go along. I also have no idea how to set up an online class. This is the polar opposite of how I normally teach, so I am really struggling with how to make it more interactive. The lab component is what is really throwing me off. Do you know how hard it is to find a good lab that does not use some type of computer sensor? The students are required to buy a lab kit, but I am trying to keep the cost down. I think I am going to have to break down and have them purchase a motion detector. We are still working out the kinks on that one.

6. Along those same lines...what is a good program to record lectures to upload?

7. 180. My poor blog has been so neglected. My goal is to begin again on Monday, mostly because I have had a lot of people tell me they miss it :) Along these lines...I desperately miss the Global Physics Department....

Oh, and my husband decided to build a house, so my "spare time" has been eaten up by painting and deciding and packing and moving.

Whew. Well, those seem to be the big issues I am dealing with at the moment. I actually feel lighter now that I have it down in black and white. They are all things that need more reflection and I will definitely do that here in the next couple weeks. But, I am going to go home. Take a deep breath. Bake some cookies. And for goodness sake, get the Christmas tree put away.

Have a good weekend!

The Delta

Have you ever seen the Mississippi River? I mean really, truly seen it? Thought about how much power there is across those couple hundred yards? All that water, all that sediment. Some coming traveling from the tops of the Rocky Mountains, some washed off a field twenty feet away. All those particles being pushed and shoved hundreds of miles until it reaches the Delta.

And then is just stops. Heavier stuff sinks immediately. Lighter stuff just floating out into the ocean.

That's what I feel like right now.

Floating.

All the rushing has subsided.

I can breathe again.

I can focus again.

I can teach again.

I can visit my home again.

It got a little ridiculous there for a couple weeks. The insanity that is a robotics competition took all of us by surprise and left all of us more than a little shell shocked.

Everything happened so quickly that I have not even begun to process it all.

So here are my goals this week:
     *Finish cleaning up my lab room.
     *Reflect on the robotics competition.
     *Realize the miracle change in my chemistry modeling classroom.
     *Outline eportfolios for astronomy and one chemistry section.

If someone knows what I need to do, I think I will be more likely to actually get it done :)

Teacher Tip #6

Never.

Ever.

Under any circumstances...

...sponsor more than one activity at the same time.

How To Destroy a Really Good Idea

Present it in a powerpoint presentation with 293 slides.

Larger Than Life

Isn't it sad that the only time I will ever know who truly loves me will be at my funeral?

We said good-bye today to a man whose full influence can never possibly be measured.

I talked Bud into taking the head track coach position a few years ago and truly had no idea what I was getting into. Bud was a unique mix of old school football coach and teddy bear. He loved his teams and he loved the competition. And he wasn't afraid to let you know either one. His pregame pep talks often ended in tears when he talked about what he believed you could do.

As we waited around the football field for his final farewell, I watched as hundreds of people gathered in memory of a person who had been so important in their lives. It was an amazing site, though upon reflection, not entirely surprising. It often took us half an hour to walk across the parking lot to get to a track meet. The man knew every coach in the state.

It's days like this that remind me of one of the most amazing (and frightening) aspects of this job. All of those eyes that are always watching me. Those kids who sit in the back and never make a sound. Kids who eagerly sign up for any activity you decide to sponsor. All it takes is one inadvertent comment about something totally unrelated. That one comment could lift a child up. Or it could tear him down. And I might never even know it.

I'm not sure I can ever hope to leave anywhere near the legacy that Bud left behind. I was blessed to have been able to coach with and learn from him. I, like so many others, am a better person because he touched my life.

And I have no doubts that he is up there, right now, teaching the angels to play football.

What He Truly Believes

I have a student in one of my classes who is kind of hard to like.

Now, I can count on one hand the number of students over the years that I honestly could not stand. He is not one of them.

He is loud. He can't read. He is argumentative. He resists doing work (probably because he can't read). His normal speaking voice always sounds like an argument. But all those things don't mean that I dislike him.

I put up with a lot in my classroom. If I didn't, I would have most of my class in the office everyday. I work really hard to remember that these are kids. They are learning who they want to be and some of them are overcoming amazing obstacles simply by getting to school every day. Part of my job is to teach them science. The other part of my job, like it or not, is to model good behavior and to show those kids what is and is not appropriate in a school setting. I can't do either of those things if they aren't in my room.

Today, my "low" kids had a wonderful discussion about energy and states of matter. The kids (all of them!) were interested and participated  in the discussion (where are all the administrators today?) and ended up with all the conclusions I had hoped they would.

As the bell is ringing and the kids are headed out, he turns to me, dead serious, very matter-of-fact and says, "Mrs. Schroeder, I'm really glad that you don't think I'm stupid."

I cried.

Teacher Tip #5

If something like Google Earth or Stellarium is cool enough to use in your classroom, it is totally worth thirty minutes or so to let the kids play around before getting down to business.

Where's the Love?

I was unofficially reprimanded today.

I have a student who has had a rough year. I have come to know her well from several years of being in class, as well as during extracurriculars. She stopped by me in the hall and we had a little chat before lunch. As she walked away, she simply said, "love you, Mrs. Schroeder" to which I responded "love you, too, hon." The power-that-be who was standing nearby swung around and proceeded to tell me that we are never to say something like that to a student.

Probably the biggest issue I have is that I have seen this same person not bat an eye at the disrespectful, hateful comments made toward or about other students. Some of those comments have been by students while others have been by staff members. They never get in trouble.

Why is he so opposed to expressing caring toward a student, but not the other way around?

The problem seems to be the difference between love and sex. I do not for a second believe my kids are confused on this issue. They see me more of a mother figure (their words, although it does kind of make me feel old) that is a stable force in their life and they know they can come to me if they need anything.

This summer I read Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles. (All of them!) What kept coming back to me was that, oddly, the creatures in the books have no problem telling others how much they love each other. There are no sexual overtones (unless I totally missed that part) to the love, it is simply an expression of caring for another individual.

Why can't we all be like that?

Am I wrong on this?

What Will They Take Home?

I covered for our art teacher during my plan today. I always like going into other classrooms to see how the kids act in a different environment. I found out that kids in the art room behave about the same as kids in my room.

We have three foreign exchange students this year and two of them are in the art class I covered. Both were working on clay masks in a country they have lived in for eight months. My mind wandered off and for some reason I got to thinking about how they would get those clay creations home.

Would they pack them in a suitcase? On a carry on? Maybe they would mail stuff. How much did they bring over in the first place? How do you plan to spend a year away at school halfway across the world?

I don't have any of the girls in my own classes, but they have all been involved in everything they possibly could throughout the year, so I have come to know them a little bit through the track team. I know they are homesick (who wouldn't be?). I know they are all pretty smart and are taking some challenging classes. I know at home they do not have school organized sports and the whole idea of sports competition kind of freaks them out. I know they work harder than a lot of kids that live here.

I haven't had much of a chance to talk to them about the differences in school cultures, so I don't really know how we compare, but from what I gather, aside from the language barrier, they haven't been terribly challenged academically.

So I'm wondering what it is they will take home. When you go home and talk about your experience with your friends, what do you say?

"Those Americans, no wonder they do terrible on international tests!" *


"Those Americans are so lucky to have what they have and they take it for granted!"

"Those Americans, they have it made, short school days AND the school pays for your sports!"

"Those Americans are so lucky, their teacher talks to them like a person!" **

"Those Americans have lots of bad weather!" ***

"Those Americans made me feel like I have lived there all my life!"

I don't really know what they will take home. I hope it is good. I hope their experience has been one that will stay will them for the rest of their lives.

And I hope they look back at their time here as an amazing experience that was filled with everything they expected and more.

Now that I think about it, I truly want that for the kids that live here as well.


*Like I care...
**This is actually paraphrased from one of those kids talking about me.
***I live in Kansas. We have had three tornado warnings this spring, not to mention hail about once a week.
****Got a little heavy handed with the footnotes today, didn't I???

Teacher Tip #4

When you have dozens of kids scattered around your room doing a lab with motion sensors, do not try to wander around to see if they are okay. All you will really accomplish is anomalies in everyone's graphs.

I Never Thought I Would Say This

I'm tired of Snow Days.

I know, I know. One of the perks of being a teacher is not having to go to work when the weather is too bad.

We have missed seven days since we came back from Christmas. We come to school for a day, are out for two and come back for a couple. And then have a weekend.

I have no idea what day it is, and neither do my kids. Even the days we are here it's really hard to get anything done since we spend so much time just getting re-oriented.

That darn Groundhog promised me Spring. I am so ready.

Teacher Tip #3

Make a sub folder. Have an extra activity available for each class. The activity needs to be something that anyone can do and doesn't require any special equipment. Videos are nice.

Because there will come a day when you are simply too sick to go to school. 

Or even hold your head up long enough to type out sub plans. 

To Praise or Not

I have Collin in two science classes this trimester. He's a "band member" in every stereotypical sense of the word. That's what he wants to do in life. While I do happen to believe that you might want to be sober for a good portion of that lifetime, far be it for me to squash his dreams. For the first half of the trimester, he was either asleep or copying work from the person next to him.

The last couple weeks, though, he has woke up. Turns out, he is a pretty bright kid. Who knew?

He's excited about his Astronomy Observation Notebook and thinks it's just awesome to be able to identify objects in the sky. He has been participating in class discussions. He has been helping other students when they get stuck. His grades have come way out of the failing range.

Every day, I want to say something to him in praise of his new effort. I want him to know how good it is to see him working to his potential.

But then I don't. I have this sneaking suspicion that bringing attention to his behavior might just bring about the end. He seems to be right on the fence, and I'm afraid of upsetting that delicate balance. The very few carefully chosen comments I have dared to make to him have resulted in this really strange look where I can see him closing up and looking around to see if anyone overheard. It's almost like he is angry at himself for doing well in class.

Why is it such a stigma for some kids to succeed?

Teacher Tip #2

Always check your trash for something that may not want to be thrown away.

Still Kickin'

Oh my.

Wow.

A month or so ago, late at night, my dad called me and asked me if I had locked the doors to the house. Um, I think so. He said go make sure. Now, if you have ever been to my dad's house, you know that he never locks his doors. I'm not even sure his door are equipped with locks. I still am not sure on the details, but the gist of it is that my brother-in-law snapped. I don't know what triggered it. All I know is that there were many threats made, some veiled, some explicit about what he would do if my sister didn't make him happy. I have never before been so afraid for myself of the people I love. Not only is my dad locking his doors, he has been carrying a gun around with him. Again, if you know my dad, you know that the likelihood of him shooting himself in the foot is much greater than him actually defending himself.

To say the last month has been a struggle really doesn't begin to describe it. Slowly, we are starting to wake up from the nightmare and get back to life.

Oddly enough, during the last few weeks, school was least stressful part of my day. Sort of. Have you ever tried to teach while in crisis? I would say that it is extremely difficult, but I really don't remember through all the fog. Autopilot got me up through Christmas break.

Editing lesson plans? Didn't get done.

Word wall? I think I was supposed to put one up.

Reflection on teaching? Was I teaching?

But it's a new year. A good time to step back, take stock in what I am doing (right and wrong).

So Happy New Year everyone! Hope it's the best one yet :)

Teacher Tip #1

Don't wear your squeaky shoes on test day.

Wanna Mess With Your Kids?

1. Write out a multiple choice test.

2. Type in your rough draft and make all the answers "A" before you go back and edit.

3. Forget to go back and move the correct answers around.

"Now Where Do I Sit?"

Want to really mess a kid up?

Change the layout of your classroom on a Tuesday evening.

Seriously. They have no idea what to do when they walk into a newly arranged room. I have had several kids for two years in a row and they sit in the same seat every day for both of those years. Every student who has walked through my door has stopped dead in their tracks and said, "Whoa*."

When I moved into this room, I had three rows of desks with just enough room to walk around the ends. If someone on the other side of the room raised there hand, I just waved. I had no good way to get there. Now I have an outside "U" with two mini-rows (kids call them islands) in the middle. And I love it. I can get from point to point in the room without any major student rearrangement.

It could be that they are still stunned, but I have noticed a change in the kids as well. They seem more attentive and less likely to strike up a conversation with their neighbor. Maybe they feel less isolated.

Even better, we have renamed this room. My principal has always called it the "chemistry lecture room.**" One of my kids has christened it the "chemistry discussion room."

*This is a direct quote.

**I have given up trying to convince him that I rarely lecture.

Things That Make You Go Hmmmm...

So, we're back.

There are so many exciting things going on this year that I really can't wait to get started.

We have a new superintendent. He is incredible. Not only did he feed us steak on Monday, he led us in an afternoon of (extremely competitive) team-building that afternoon. His attitude is one of trust (we are NOT used to this) and he just exudes positive waves.

Yesterday was your typical mind-numbing professional development. Seven hours on K-12 literacy which I think was only understood by those who already have the training. If they were awake for it.

Here is an interesting set of facts about my district:

1. Every building in our district achieved Standard of Excellence in Reading.

2. Our district is on improvement for reading.

Apparently, our special education subgroup did not make enough progress for us to meet AYP. Actually, they improved quite a bit, but fell short by 2 points.

How messed up is that?

I get kids tomorrow! Two sections of chemistry and one of geology, as well as a reading intervention class.

We are going to start off by blowing up a coffee can :)

Here's to the new year!